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You must have heard the phrase, “Motherhood is hard!” Motherhood is one of the best jobs in the world – and also one of the toughest. So, what are the hardest things about being a mom?
Raising a tiny human from total dependency to an independent one doesn’t come without challenges. Babies may differ in genetics, but the experience of mothers is very similar across the world.
Have you seen the Instagram posts of laughing babies with cute hair bows and mini tuxedos, and you’re now broody? If your baby fever is hitting the high heavens, read on to know what to expect. Here are 10 of the hardest things about being a mom.
You Learn On The Job
It’s a huge privilege to be gifted with a child and given the responsibility of nurturing them to adulthood. But the manual got lost in the delivery mail; you have to learn on the job.
Other moms’ experiences may tell you what to expect. However, from the moment the midwife places the baby in your arms, you start your own motherhood experience. And it’s as unique to you as your baby is.
You’re Constantly Worried
Getting a baby is like getting a worry card handed to you.
“I’m I doing the best for the baby?” “Is he too warm?” “Is he too cold?” “Was that tone too harsh?” “Should I have left for work today?”
There are questions constantly flying in your mind. They don’t go away as the baby grows, they only change in nature.
“Should I let her go to that dance?”
Dealing With People’s Opinion
Sometimes, the questions are from other people. As much as the baby doesn’t come with a manual, some people believe they have the first edited edition of the baby-rearing manual.
You face constant questioning on your motherhood choices and get lots of ‘advice’ on how it should be done. As a mother, it’s not everyone who will approve of your decisions, so make them soberly and stick by them.
Once you have studied your child and done your research, little else will matter.
It’s Exhausting
Motherhood is synonymous with constant fatigue and sleep deprivation. The first weeks with a newborn are the hardest as the baby adjusts to his new world.
You can try to minimize the fatigue by resting when the baby naps. Do not try to save the world in the few shut-eye minutes your baby gets. Zone out and rest as well.
Leaving the House Becomes A Ninja Affair
As the baby grows older, they develop separation anxiety. They may get very restless and hysterical when people they have gotten familiar with. They have not yet begun associating leaving and coming back notion.
Separation from the mother is the hardest. Some moms employ ninja tactics to leave without the baby noticing.
Instead of sneaking out, try bidding the baby goodbye and assure them that you will be back. The crying will wane over time as they see you keep your word.
Mom Guilt
Mom’s guilt is the fear of whether you’re doing the best by your baby. Mom’s guilt can be crippling, stopping you from doing the things you’d love to do.
Mom’s guilt comes in instances when you need to leave your baby for prolonged periods. Mom’s guilt can also happen if the baby gets hurt in any way.
It can have you questioning everything you’re doing. If any of the hardest things about being a mom has had many mothers bawling her eyes out, it is mom guilt.
Privacy Is A Forgotten Vocabulary
When you’re a mother, there’s nothing that is too private for you. You will have company even on your shower and bathroom breaks. You’ll also have a tiny human mirror when dressing up.
Your phone calls have a background track of screaming babies or mommy yelling at them to get the cat out of the washing machine. All your space is taken up, including your bed and your own hands.
You Risk Disconnecting With Your Significant Other
The other hardest thing about being a mom is you have to work harder to maintain the connection with your partner.
The baby’s needs seem to always come first, and often, the relationship between you and your spouse gets affected. Maintaining the connection has to be a very deliberate affair; it takes extra effort.
‘Me Time’? What’s That?
Do you know how you used to take off by yourself to a quiet place to think and relax? Or how you’d just lock yourself in your room with music and a glass of wine?
Motherhood doesn’t seem to have an off switch where you can shut the world out and recharge. This is worse if you have kids of different ages with varied needs, who keep at your toes 24/7.
You’re An Emotional Wreck
All the fatigue and the decisions to be made may leave you feeling like your emotions are on the fastest roller coaster. Sometimes, it’s the hormones from pregnancy that have not worn off yet.
Coupled with possible pressure from work to perform to your best and answering to ‘Mom’ for the 1, 997th time, one mind can only take too much.
There will be times when you’re elated and others when the world seems to be crumbling.
Final Words
The good thing about motherhood is; they grow very fast. The bad thing about motherhood is; kids grow very fast.
If the babies seem to take all your time and energy now, take hope in the fact that they will not be babies for long. In no time, they will be grown and independent. They may even move away from you, and you’ll be left with an empty nest. You may even miss the noise and the chaos again.
Enjoy the season with all its joys and challenges. And find the opportunity to rest and unwind. It’s ok to leave some things undone. They may be in dire need of clean laundry right now, but they need you sane more.
